Wwe Raw 12/5/11

It is now time for WWE RAW for December 5th 2011. Alberto Del Rio, The Miz, John Cena, and Dolph Ziggler all want title shots and John Laurinaitis will give them all a chance to earn it. Plus, Kevin Nash steps into the ring for the first time. This is WWE RAW 12/5/11.

WWE RAW 12/5/11

John Cena talks about what has been going down recently. Long story short, he wants the title shot against CM Punk. Hey, remember when that was a highly anticipated match? Now, I don’t really care if it happens or not. Alberto Del Rio is out. He

wants another title shot. It’s not his fault that the referee missed Punk’s illegal actions after all. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler walk out, with Dolph Ziggler wanting a title shot. John Cena brings up Dolph’s sorrid past as a male cheerleader and a caddie. The Miz is out and you bet he wants a title shot. Here’s Johnny! John Laurinaitis talks about how he’s been accused of being boring and not being able to make the right decisions, like hiring the wrong one legged wrestler, hiring your divas our of swimsuit catalogs, bringing up the Bashams as a tag team just after they broke up in OVW (although Cornette managed to make a good storyline out of that one but still), and once teaming with Shane Douglas, carrying a skateboard to the ring. However he’s going to give Ziggler, Miz, and Del Rio a chance at a title shot, if they beat a Smackdown competitor. And John Cena, he has a social experiment for him. I hoped for it being stringing Johnny up by his feet from the top of the arena and beating him with a Kendo Stick like a piñata, to see how loud the fans cheered.

The Miz defeated Randy Orton

A solid enough match all things considered. Then again, Miz and Orton, while not the two most dynamic people on the roster, have been able to cut a decent place. Wade Barrett comes out to distract Randy Orton and this allows Miz to roll him up for the pin. Randy Orton is not a happy bunny and Miz is in line for a title shot.

Zack Ryder against John Cena is made for later tonight. I don’t think my heart can take it if John Cena beats Zack Ryder. If Cena wins, then he gets in the title match at TLC and if Ryder wins, he finally gets his United States Title Shot.

We are going to have Triple H and Kevin Nash in a Ladder Match at TLC with a Sledgehammer hanging above the ring. Wait? WHAT? Let me break this down for you. Triple H, 40 something year old man with past muscle tears in his legs and other injury problems, against Kevin Nash, 50 something year old man with bad knees, who once tore his quadriceps muscle by walking across the ring…IN A LADDER MATCH! This is going to end in a fatality or at least another quad tear. Nash is confident but he better have his doctor on speed dial the night of TLC. HBK/Razor this won’t be, I’ll tell you that much.

Alberto Del Rio defeated Daniel Bryan

Was decent enough for the short match it got. Del Rio slaps on the armbar to get the win. Alberto also gets another title shot. WWE really does have too many Pay Per Views, they should cut down to about four a year. They won’t but they should.

Cryptic video package of Jericho/Undertaker/Funaki interrupting a video for Beth Phoenix and Natalya, who will be called Pin Up Strong. I’ll give that name a week.

Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly defeated Beth Phoenix and Natalya.

Bunny rabbits eat radishes so they can have babies. You’re welcome.

John Cena defeated Zack Ryder

That no good filthy cheater John Cena scores the win against our valiant hero Zack Ryder, hitting the Attitude Adjustment for the win, pulling the tights, pulling the hair, pulling

a bunch of things, using Mr. Fuji’s salt, putting his feet on the ropes, such a disgraceful outcome. Okay some of those things didn’t happen, but John Cena scores the win with the Attitude Adjustment at any rate.

John Cena gives up his title shot, so Ryder can have another shot at a shot. Well he should. He’ll get likely about nine hundred more title shots anyway.

Zack Ryder defeated Mark Henry

WWE…monster…Ryder…monster….Ryder…should push monster…Ryder rules….monster should not look weak…Ryder rules…Ryder rules…can’t beat monster….WOO, WOO, WOO…Henry should dominate…Take Care Spike Your Hair….Monster push….HEAD EXPLODES!

This Report is Experiencing Technical Difficulties Due to Conflicting Arguments. Please Stand By.

…so anyway, Zack Ryder beats Mark Henry thanks to John Cena. And Ryder’s excitement is epic. I’m pleased that Ryder win but I’m not so happy that it was against Mark Henry who should not be losing under any circumstances until Wrestlemania, but WWE long since screwed that up. WWE, turning everything good into manure since 2001.

Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus is made and Ziggler is going to do this on his own.

Kevin Nash defeated Santino Marella.

Nash scores the win with the Jack Knife and then he teases murdering Santino with the sledgehammer but doesn’t. It was what it was.

Welcome back Evan Bourne.

Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler.

A serviceable enough match, with Sheamus and Ziggler being two of the better workers on the roster at this point and time. Not bad, pretty good actually, with Zack Ryder coming out to take a closer look. Ziggler eats the Brogue Kick and gets pinned. So no title shot for you, Ziggles.

We have a contract signing angle. Yeah, we haven’t seen about five million or so of these this year alone in WWE. They sign, they fight, Punk stands tall. Miz vs. Del Rio vs. Punk at TLC in a TLC Match.

Why You Should Watch WWE RAW 12/5/11

I suppose Ziggler vs. Sheamus was good enough but this was an uninspiring show. Three hour RAW next week, which always sucks on ice, Tribute to the Troops which is harmless fun, and TLC, which is not exciting me all that much. Even if it is Chris Jericho, things will be interesting for a few weeks and then get dragged straight back down to Earth, back to the same old status quo with maybe a couple of good matches or an entertaining segment here or there. Such is the state of WWE in 2011, soon to be 2012.

WWE RAW Results 12/5/11

The Miz defeated Randy Orton

Alberto Del Rio defeated Daniel Bryan.

Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly defeated Beth Phoenix

John Cena defeated Zack Ryder.

Zack Ryder defeated Mark Henry.

Kevin Nash defeated Santino Marella.

Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler.

http://sportales.com/wrestling/wwe-raw-12511/ WWE RAW Past Reports http://wrestlingemporium.blogspot.com/p/wwe-raw-archives_12.html

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