Wwe Raw 1/16/12

Tonight on WWE RAW for January 16th 2012, we have a six man tag team match, with Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga, and Mark Henry against Chris Jericho, Daniel Bryan, and CM Punk and by Chris Jericho we mean Mick Foley. Confused? Well stay tuned for a review of all of the highlights for WWE RAW 1/16/12.

WWE RAW 1/16/12

The yearly tribute of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr is shown.

Out comes Mick Foley, who wants to be in the Royal Rumble. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are out, to mock Foley. Ziggler brags that Cena ran out and he beat Punk two

weeks ago. Foley is a walking punchline. Out comes CM Punk. Ziggler says that Punk and Foley shop at the same homeless shelter. Punk says that they worked hard to become stars, unlike Ziggler, who has John Laurinaitis. And as if this segment didn’t drag on long enough….HERE’S JOHNNY! Foley won’t be in the Rumble, according to Johnny Boy. Vickie cackles like a super villain. Quite the opening segment.

WWE Tag Team Champions Epico and Primo defeated Air Boom

Air Boom lost the tag belts on Sunday Night at a house show and lose in two minutes to the new champions. Bourne eats the Back Stabber. Well that will teach you to stooge off a main event talent when you get suspended.(Monday Afternoon Edit: Or violating the Wellness Policy yet again. Whatever works. Second strike for Evan Bourne)

David Otunga gives John Laurinaitis a memo. Chris Jericho will be in action tonight. Given the past couple of weeks, we should have figured that the fix was in with this one.

Zack Ryder refuses to forfeit his title, despite his injuries at the hands of Kane.

Recap of the Horror Movie Soap Opera that is Kane last week, as he stalks Eve and Ryder, destroys Ryder, and then destroys John Cena.

Jack Swagger defeated Zack Ryder to win the United States Title

Well, the rise of Zack Ryder was something but the moment they put the title on him, it seemed like his momentum crashed into a wall. It just proves that WWE can’t do something right, even when a surefire thing is thrown right into their lap. Ryder does manage to look rather strong, surviving Two Doctor Bombs before a third put himself. Normally it would be a concern that someone’s finisher was made so weak. But it’s Swagger, so who cares?

John Laurinaitis received a note that said that Zack Ryder could not compete. Yeah too bad there wasn’t any precedent that states that if a wrestler cannot compete, he can’t lose his title…oh wait a minute.

Perez Hilton is out for the next match.

Alicia Fox and Kelly Kelly defeated the Bella Twins

Twin magic is stopped by Perez Hilton and Kelly and Alicia get the win. It’s just the same old diva’s match.

On Smackdown, AJ was in the wrong place in the wrong time.

Clip from 1992 Royal Rumble, which was a rather awesome moment and why Bobby “the Brain” Heenan is the best color commentator of all time(with Jesse Ventura being the obvious very close second)

R-Truth is out to chat. Out comes Wade Barrett to claim that he is going to win the Royal Rumble. The Miz jumps in and attacks R-Truth and Sheamus makes the save and its breaking down tonight on RAW. So Teddy Long is out, and it is going to be an over the top rope challenge. Which is WWE code for “battle royal”

R-Truth won the Over the Top Rope Challenge against Wade Barrett, Sheamus, and The Miz

Wade Barrett goes out first, which given the WWE Law of Inverse Booking logic means that his chances of winning the Royal Rumble have actually increased. Then R-Truth dumps Sheamus and Miz for the win. R-Truth gets the win but as a consolation prize, Sheamus defeated the Miz.

John Cena is not happy about the Zack Ryder situation. See even John Cena is seeing the logic holes, and WWE and their two month rule. Cena is in the Royal Rumble, as is Kane and Cena has a match with Jack Swagger.

John Cena battled Jack Swagger to a no contest.

The match did not really get going all that much with Cena giving Swagger a sound thrashing, until Kane teased coming out,

but did not get involved in the action. Will their paths cross in the Royal Rumble? Stay tuned.

Brodus Clay defeated JTG

It is Funkasaurus Time! Brodus has moved on from squashing enhancement talent to squashing NXT regulars. Curt Hawkins last week, Tyson Kidd on Smackdown, and JTG tonight. Fall of Humanity gets the pin.

Daniel Bryan is out, to take the Big Show to task for running over AJ last week, putting all of the blame on him, saying that he could have stopped. That defense doesn’t really hold up in traffic court by the way either. Daniel Bryan is walking that tight rope between babyface and heel, but he’s going to be a heel and it’s going to be…well I’m not sure what it is. I’d like to say it would be glorious, but given WWE’s inability to do anything right for more than a couple of weeks, I doubt Daniel Bryan will be much more than any other cookie cutter heel on the roster. He won’t be a tenth as awesome as he was in Ring of Honor.

Mick Foley, Daniel Bryan, and CM Punk defeated David Otunga, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry, then the decision was reversed by John Laurinaitis.

This was supposed to be Chris Jericho teaming with Daniel Bryan and CM Punk, but he’s still trolling us all, so he leaves rather quickly. Six man tag team match rule is in effect, as Foley joins us and it is a pretty entertaining match. David Otunga tastes the wrath of Mister Socko and the babyfaces win. But wait a minute, here comes John Laurinaitis to announce that since Foley was not legally in the match, the decision was reversed. Oh stick it in your skateboard, Laurinaitis

Time for Punk to lay some verbal smackdown on Laurinaitis, as this show is dying a slow and agonizing death. Better people have tried to screw Punk over, but they’ve failed. Punk teases nailing Laurinaitis, which would have made me bigger than Jesus, but sadly it was not to be. Laurinaitis is alone with Foley and Foley rips into Johnny the Dull. Laurinaitis snaps, saying that he will screw Punk, he’s going to be the regular General Manager of RAW, and he’s sick and tired of being disrespected. The WWE Universe is so selfish..so damn selfish..and that’s why I kicked their leg out from under their leg. Okay that last part didn’t happen, but it would have bee awesome if it did. Laurinaitis decks Foley with a microphone. Well that one is coming out of his paycheck. The show ends.

Why You Should Watch WWE RAW 1/16/12

Main event was decent I guess.

WWE RAW Results 1/16/12

WWE Tag Team Champions Epico and Primo defeated Air Boom

Jack Swagger defeated Zack Ryder to win the United States Title.

Alicia Fox and Kelly Kelly defeated the Bella Twins

R-Truth won the Over the Top Rope Challenge Against Wade Barrett, Sheamus, and the Miz.

Brodus Clay defeated JTG

David Otunga, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry defeated CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Mick Foley via reverse decision.

RAW Report Archives: http://wrestlingemporium.blogspot.com/p/wwe-raw-archives_12.html

Please login to comment on this post.
There are no comments yet.
January 16th 2012 Is Martin Luther King Jr Day
Have Comic Book Events Lost Purpose